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How can I maintain a relationship with my noncustodial children?

If your ex-spouse in New York has been awarded custodial custody of your kids, you may be wondering how you can still maintain a healthy relationship with them. As challenging as co-parenting can be, noncustodial parents often face bigger obstacles than their custodial counterparts.

According to the Huffington Post, children are more likely to enjoy themselves with their noncustodial parent when their custodial parent encourages them to do so. Your relationship with your former partner is important. You and their other parent should want what is best for your kids even though you are no longer together. This means you will need to maintain a positive, supportive and amicable relationship.

As the noncustodial parent, you may feel as if the change in your living arrangements and the distance that now physically exists between you and your children may create gaps in your relationship that are too hard to overcome. These feelings are normal. However, you should be careful to avoid making those feelings known to your kids so you can minimize any ambivalent feelings they may have about the situation. Encourage your children to respect all adults who are around during your parenting time.

Discuss the situation with your children as soon as possible. You and your kids should be prepared to establish ground rules, boundaries and consequences. Create a schedule of events for special outings and one-on-one time with your children so you can spend more quality time with them while doing things that you both like to do in different settings. Good bonding activities include sharing stories with each other, listening to them talk, going for walks and simply being around each other.

Even though the courts have designated you as the noncustodial parent that does not mean that you have to sacrifice your relationship with your kids. With the right approach to co-parenting, you can maintain and improve your relationship.


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