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How can I lessen the impact of my divorce on my kids?

Divorce is becoming a common experience in New York. But that does not make it any less traumatizing for the children who have to go through it. You may be divorcing your spouse because you feel your relationship is no longer healthy for you and your kids. All the negativity, arguing and lack of affection makes it hard for you to maintain a healthy and positive family dynamic. Although you may be divorcing your spouse for good reasons, your kids can still suffer from the impact of your separation. Their resiliency does not make them impervious to what is going on between you and their other parent. 

Here is a brief overview of how you can lessen the impact of your divorce situation on your kids. 

Minimize the changes 

You may be ready for the changes that divorce brings to your life, but your children are not. Too many changes are often hard for children to deal with. Too much change at once can cause your kids to experience stress, anxiety and negative feelings. If possible, you should try to maintain a routine with your children so there is little to no disruption to their lives, states WebMD. If you must make changes, do them slowly. Inform your kids so they can prepare themselves and communicate their concerns so you can address them. 

Stop fighting

Stop fighting with your former partner. Your children can sense when things are tense between the both of you. Even though you and their other parent have yet to come to agreeable terms in your divorce settlement, you do not need to fight about every single thing. Consider using a mediator to help you and your former partner settle your differences. Try to remember what is really important in your divorce. Establish priorities and stick with them. Be a role model for your kids so they know how to act in the face of adversity. 

It is impossible to shield your children from every aspect of your divorce. But you can improve your parenting skills and relationship with their other parent. By providing your kids with consistency and stability, you can minimize the impact that your separation has on their lives.

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